


For the Birds

by Pandora (paperclipbutterfly)



Series: Plot Bunnies and Rogue Foxes [6]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: A little different fare for me, Aftermath of Violence, Animal Abuse, Birds, But the best pun I have ever crafted, Character Death, Criminally long set up for a joke, Gen, Minor Violence, Please Don't Hate Me, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 02:25:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19736461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperclipbutterfly/pseuds/Pandora
Summary: A bit of sabotage from environmental activists during the yearly bird migrations drops a fowl problem into the paws of the ZPD. Nick and Judy have a discussion about what entitles an animal to basic rights, and an encounter with a common crow shows Judy that what defines intelligence isn't exactly cut and dry. Always show kindness when you are able... you never know when it will be returned.Or in what form.





	For the Birds

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of months ago ubernoner dropped this plot bunny into Discord to get my mind off a bit of car trouble. It grew to horrific proportions swiftly. It is now an abomination, and I love it. I hope you love it, too. ^_^
> 
> The Lapin Kings is the name of a gang from ubernoner's [Sons of Efrafa](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16267073/chapters/38037704). If you love world-building, go check it out.
> 
> There is a short, somewhat gory description toward the end, so if that's something you'd rather not encounter... well, here's your warning.
> 
> Enjoy!

In its earliest days—before the Climate Wall and the skyscrapers and the many diverse districts—Zootopia was simply a watering hole. And not just any watering hole, but a well-traveled one that animals of all shapes, sizes, and species frequented during various migrations throughout the year. As mammals evolved, it became the obvious place to build around. All mammals, both predator and prey, were welcome in this bustling place that was forged in an alliance of harmony and peace. They no longer passed through, but settled and stayed. Their eternal wandering came to an end. The time of migrations was over.

Of course, it seemed no one ever mentioned this to the birds.

“Shoo! Get out of here!”

Judy ran up to a group of swallows, waving her arms over her head in wide arcs. A few of the birds waddled out of her way, while a few others fluttered to the side. The rest continued about their head-bobbing and pecking at the ground without paying her much mind at all.

“Nice job, Carrots.” Nick took a sip from his Snarlbucks cup and then gestured with it. “You got them to move a whole five feet thataway. Bang-up police work.”

“Oh, hush you.” She set her paws on her hips as she glared at him in annoyance. “I don’t see you making any effort here.”

He tipped his head down to look at her over his aviators. “I’d rather not risk spilling my coffee for such a fruitless task.”

The fruitless task to which Nick was referring was driving the gathered flock of birds that had settled just outside of Little Rodentia away from said location. The mini-metropolis had been covered over for days now with a protective anti-avian dome to keep the pesky winged intruders from coming in overhead; however, the newest arrivals were small and liable to fit through the fenceposts if they were so inclined. What was originally a simple irritation was quickly becoming a safety concern.

Under normal circumstances, this situation wouldn’t have even happened. The buildings of the city—of which there were many—were equipped with a number of deterrents that worked day and night to keep birds from landing and nesting in Zootopia at all. Ultrasonic noise emitters, laser lights that shot on if they detected any movement nearby, mesh netting, and so forth. Even the very architecture of the buildings discouraged birds from setting down on ledges and building nests. The multiple overlapping protections usually kept the city almost bird-free.

Usually.

A recent spate of sabotage from environmental extremists, unfortunately, saw several of those very systems either damaged or removed over the past few weeks… just in time for the peak of the migration season. An influx of passenger pigeons, swallows, and crows especially had started setting down in the temperate areas of the city; indeed, anywhere that there was food or drink or trash, there were now small gatherings of birds, also.

“I don’t know what these vandals were thinking. Why would anyone think that _this_ —” Judy indicated the critters and the mess of droppings and feathers that they’d left on the sidewalk. “—is better for the city?”

Nick shrugged. “I think it’s more about what they’ve determined is fair, actually.”

She raised an eyebrow. “It’s _fair_ that no mammal smaller than… well, _me_ … can walk around safely until this is all fixed?”

“I think they’d say it’s not fair that we keep making the city hostile to birds to begin with. That they have the same right as we do to set down here if they want.” He took another swig of coffee. “At least, that’s the crux of the arguments that I’ve read about the whole Universal Animal Rights Act thing.”

“Well, you want to know what I think?” She threw her arms out in frustration. “I think it’s _for the birds_. Why should unintelligent animals get the same rights as mammals have? They wouldn’t even know what to do with them!”

Nick turned his empty paw out and ticked off his fingers with the bottom of his cup. “Live where they want, sleep where they want, eat where they want, fu—”

“STOP.” Judy crossed her arms in a blocking motion in front of her. “That’s enough out of you.”

Her partner cocked his head and smirked. “Getting under your fur, am I?”

She glared at him; the answer was obvious. “You can’t possibly be siding with those lunatic protesters from M.E.T.A. Why are you even arguing with me on this?”

“Just playing Devil’s Advocate. I wonder where you draw the line for those entitled to basic animal rights and those ‘lesser species.’ Wasn’t too long ago that predators weren’t considered intelligent enough to warrant having the very rights that we’re talking about, either. Too wild, brainless.” He tipped his shades up and locked his eyes with hers. “Savage.”

She grimaced. “That’s not the same and you know it.”

“Well, sure, _now_ it’s all fine, but that’s only because the laws were broadened to include predator species as being mammalian and not just ‘animal.’ Only two votes kept shock collars from becoming a thing here, you know.” Nick gripped his throat and made a face before letting his arm drop back to his side. “So, what iron-clad definition is there that guarantees an animal the rights that you and I currently have and these birds don’t have?”

Judy puffed her cheeks and looked away. “They’re not evolved.”

“ _Yet_. What if they’re just a little behind and playing catch up? How does one even determine what it means to be evolved or not? How could you tell when they crossed that line?”

She tapped her foot testily and turned back to him. “How about language? Spoken words that convey concrete thoughts and concepts?”

Nick gave a chuffing laugh. “I’d say the ability to speak more often _dis_ proves mammals’ intelligence, Fluff.” She glared at him and he waved aside at the birds. “Alright, well… they’re not exactly silent. Who’s to say they aren’t talking and we simply don’t know the dialect?”

Judy huffed. “Those are just noises. _I_ could make those noises. They’re meaningless.”

“To you and me. Might mean something to them.”

“Alright, fine.” She scratched her head and then gestured around her. “What about an ordered society? Structures, assigned roles, jobs—”

“Ever seen the inside of an anthill? Or a termite mound? Oooh, or a beehive!” Nick pointed at her with a cheeky smile. “Talk about _society_ , right? Tiny cities, built from nothing but the elements and work like well-oiled machines. No unemployment, everyone’s got a job to do.” He winked. “Could learn a lot from them, huh?”

Judy rolled her eyes. “Emotions, then. And not just survival instinct. Doing something, desiring something just to enjoy it, just because, not based on the day to day act of staying alive.”

“So… what, like love?”

“Sure.”

Nick put a finger to his chin. “Ducks choose their mates for life. Probably wouldn’t do that if they didn’t have a preference for a specific duck over another. One might interpret that as love, no?”

Judy gave a harsh, grating groan. “Alright, smarty pants… let’s say that it happens, then. Suddenly, every animal from the riding ostriches to the tiny geckos all have the same legal rights mammals do. Then what? Are we going to let _raptors_ live next to Little Rodentia? There goes the neighborhood… _literally._ And some species of bird and reptile are bred and farmed for food. What happens when you hand them life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? Cracking an egg is infanticide? Eating a piece of chicken becomes a crime? Are there going to be court cases with bird plaintiffs? It’s craziness.”

He cocked his head. “So, just because it messes with the current system, it’s not okay to give birds rights, even if it might be time to?”

She frowned and scrunched her nose. “They’re vectors for disease and a public nuisance… can’t understand or be reasoned with—”

“Says you. I once had a rousing conversation with a parrot a buddy of mine owned.” He chuckled. “Filthy mouth on that thing. Great sense of humor, though.”

“A pet that can be taught to mimic words for entertainment still doesn’t count as being evolved or sapient. It’s not the same.”

Nick shrugged. “If you say so. All I’m saying is it’s not exactly a simple thing to decide which species are entitled to basic rights and which ones aren’t. It’s probably something mammals will have to get used to discussing.”

Judy shot him a sour look, clearly done with the current topic of conversation. “If you’re quite done _antagonizing_ me…” Nick gave her a playfully scandalized face as she indicated the again accumulating flock of birds nearby. “We’re here to keep order—the _current_ order—as it is our job to do. Now help me, or I promise you’ll be listening to country music all the way back to the station.”

He scowled at her briefly before donning his usual smug smirk. He tossed the now empty coffee cup into a nearby trashcan and slipped his aviators into his pocket.

“Have you considered asking them nicely?” Nick sauntered past her to where the group of birds had reconvened. They did as they had before and shuffled themselves out of the way as he stopped and stood amongst them. He leaned over and flashed a sharp-toothed grin as he said, “ _Move along, please_.”

The majority of the birds responded to the subtle threat immediately and took to the air, flying off and down the avenue. He turned with a self-satisfied grin at his partner and replaced his shades on his face once more.

“There, see? All in how you say it.” Nick folded his paws behind his back and ambled past her in the direction of the patrol car parked on the street. “I’d call that a job well done. What’s say we head back? Can’t wait to write up the thrilling play-by-play of our battle against the wild horde of avian invaders.”

“Hmph.” Judy crossed her arms and hurried to catch up with him. “Just for that, instead of country music now it’ll be Gazelle’s Greatest Hits. Job well done, dumb fox.”

There was a little additional bounce in her step as Nick pled for the sake of his ears, but nothing he said could change his inevitable fate. He bewailed the trampling of his right to a comfortable work environment the entire drive back to Precinct One as Judy purposely sang off key with a big smile on her face.

*****

The number of birds began to decrease over the next few days. A concerted effort was made to repair and reactivate the multiple deterrent systems that were put out of commission, and more of the fowl interlopers cleared out as they came back online. The activists who had participated in the damage were found and arrested; they were happy to use their brief incarceration to martyr themselves for their cause in online blogs and podcasts. In the end, the bill that they had been attempting to gain public awareness for was voted down by the City Council soundly. By the time the dome over Little Rodentia was lifted, things were well on their way back to normal in Zootopia once more.

Tuesday ended as Tuesdays normally did, without anything going too terribly awry. Things never did get very out of sorts on Tuesdays, as a rule. It was the week of the charity auction that the ZPD was hosting for the victims of the Nighthowler Crisis. Since their attendance was a foregone conclusion (and in black-tie attire, no less), both Officer Hopps and Officer Wilde were doing their best to keep out of anything too messy before then.

Judy hummed a little ditty to herself as she walked the last leg of her journey home after work. There weren’t many mammals on the same side of the street as she was, so it was quiet but for the earworm stuck in her head. Even if it were busier, though, it was unlikely that the tumult kicking up nearby would have escaped her attention.

“ _CAAAAAAAW!_ ”

“Get it! Don’t let it get past you!”

“Ha ha! _Blocked_ , idiot bird!”

The boisterous commotion coming out of the alley that she was passing made her ears shoot straight up. She paused mid-stride to listen, and when the noises got even louder, she turned off the sidewalk to investigate further. A raucous cawing accompanied the jeering hoots and hollers that increased in volume the further down the alley she went. Her pace quickened.

At last, the cause of the ruckus came into view. A pack of what looked like middle-schoolers—two wolves, a cheetah, and a warthog—had a large black bird cornered behind a dumpster. The bird—a crow, from what Judy could guess—had its wings tied down with twine. A trail of string was attached to a few empty cans behind its tail feathers, which made loud clattering sounds as it hopped frantically away from one pair of bullies to the other. The children were enjoying the spectacle of the panicking critter unable to get past them or fly away, and laughed at each attempt it made to flee.

The cheetah cub sneered and gave the bird a light kick. “Think it’s made of white meat or dark?”

“Only one way to find out.” One of the wolves nudged it back with his own foot. “Go on, take a bite.”

“Eww, gross, no!” The cub recoiled in disgust and made a retching sound.

“Don’t be such a baby.”

“Freeze, ZPD!” Judy yelled, assuming the police authority voice as she barreled toward them. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

An assortment of alarmed noises erupted from the adolescents as they quickly gathered their schoolbags and took off running out the other end of the alley. By the time she was at the dumpster, they’d made it to the avenue and bolted off in different directions.

Judy slowed to a stop and put her paws on her hips with a frustrated huff. Not that she was about to drag them to the station or anything, but tormenting a dumb, helpless animal wasn’t the kind of behavior one should get away with. She turned her gaze to the trash bin and her ears shot up. One of the backpacks was still wedged in the corner by the brick wall.

Right behind the crow.

“ _Caw caw caaaaaw!”_

It was hopping madly this way and that, still trying to break free. The cans and twine had gotten caught around the wheel of the dumpster and the bird was just squawking and throwing what little weight it had against the cord to try and get away from it, to no avail.

Judy frowned as she looked it over, still keeping well out of reach. The crow was probably filthy, and she sure didn’t want to touch it or risk getting pecked. She did want that bag, though, and it would be cruel to leave the poor thing all tied up and panicking like it was. The pickle this bird found itself in was certainly not its choice. Was she really going to just ignore its struggling?

She reached into one of her belt pockets to produce a simple folded knife. With a flick of her wrist the blade snapped open and she took a single, careful step toward the crow.

It didn’t seem to like that at all.

“ _CAW CAW! CAW CAW! CAAAAAAAW!_ ”

Its calls picked up in tempo and volume, and it began to nip its beak at Judy in obvious warning. She stopped just out of its reach and blinked. Was it possible that it even had an inkling what a knife was?

She shook her head hard. _Don’t be dumb, Judy… it’s just a simple fight response to an advancing possible danger. Nothing more to it than that._

All the same, the raucous cries didn’t let up and the crow continued to snap intermittently in her direction. The sky overhead was starting to turn dark; if she was going to get that bag back to its owner (and have a talk with his parents about his choice of afterschool activity), she’d have to get the bird to accept her help.

How to do that when it couldn’t understand…

“ _CAW CAW! CAW CAW! CAAAAAAAW!_ ”

Judy rubbed her ringing ear. “Would you stop making that awful racket? I’m not going to hurt you.”

“ _CAAAAAAAAW!_ ”

“Ugh… dumb bird.”

Judy put the knife back in her pocket in annoyance, and something peculiar happened. The crow stopped squawking. It stopped hopping around, also. For a long few seconds, Judy and the bird just stared at each other, neither one moving but more… considering the other. Somewhere in the back of her head she heard Nick’s voice from the other day go, “ _All in how you say it_ ,” and she added a few spoonsful of sweetness to her tone.

“Okay, now… take it easy there,” she said, and took another tentative step forward. “I’ll help get that off if you keep still for me. Okay?”

The crow blinked and dipped its head down slightly. Was that… like a _nod_?

“Alright, you’re… gonna be fine.” Judy knelt beside it with exceptional slowness. “Just… don’t peck me, please.”

The knot that tied the bird’s wings down wasn’t that complex, or even secured very tightly. A few tugs with her claws and it came loose; the loops of cord fell away a second later. The crow shook the offending restraint off and dashed immediately out from them. Judy pulled the cans free from the wheel, bundled it all together with the twine, and tossed it into the dumpster. She clapped her paws a few times and then swiped them against her pant legs.

“There you go, see? No harm done.”

He spread his wings wide (it had to be a male, its wingspan was enormous), fluttered them twice, and then folded them again. While he had the normal iridescent black plumage of a common crow, Judy did notice that a single feather on one wing was bright white… a little chip on his shoulder. He blinked at her, but made no move to fly away.

“ _Caw,_ ” he squawked as she walked past him to the backpack. She ignored the noise and knelt down, looking the bag over for some identification. The front pocket had a plastic flap and a fully filled out—if a little messy—ID tag.

“ _Caaaaw._ ”

Her ear twitched at another call, though again it was summarily dismissed as she read over the student’s name and address on the card. As luck would have it, his home was on the way to her apartment, so she wouldn’t lose much time returning the bag and having a chat with his parents about his exploits this afternoon. Judy hefted it over her shoulder as she stood and turned to leave when…

“ _CAW!_ ”

Judy startled at the cry, which somehow seemed a little… insistent?... and turned to the crow once more. He hopped just in front of her with something shiny in his beak, though it was hard to tell what it was. Hopefully not anything dangerous; she really didn’t have any more time to bother with him.

“You can go,” she said, and sidestepped around him. “Better get out of Zootopia. Head out to the Burrows. Lots of space out there. But steer clear of the Hopps Family Farm. Dad’s a pretty good shot with his little BB gun.” Judy waved her paw ironically over her shoulder. “Bye, Chip. Stay out of trouble.”

She turned the corner at the end of the alley and continued on her way. The crow she just called ‘Chip’ bowed his head and dropped what turned out to be a scratched glass stone on the ground.

“ _Caw._ ”

He blinked in the general direction that the rabbit had taken, then leapt with wings spread wide into the deepening twilight and disappeared.

*****

The Friday workday for Judy and Nick came and went with no complications or additional hassles. This seemed to forecast a favorable time was ahead of them for the charity auction they were attending.

They were wrong about that, of course, but the evening started benignly enough that it wasn’t obvious how abysmal things would turn when Nick arrived at Judy’s apartment building to pick her up.

“Well, now, don’t you clean up nice.” Judy smiled as she stepped outside to the dashing good looks of her partner in a very different getup than usual. Sharp black suit, crisp white shirt, bowtie. He still wore a smug smile, which she imagined would go well with every outfit in his wardrobe.

Nick pulled his paw out of his pocket for a slight bow as she came up in front of him. “I was about to say the same about you, country bunny.”

Judy looked down at herself. The long, modest dress matched the color of her eyes and draped attractively in all the right places. It wasn’t the easiest ensemble to move in, but she was going to be sitting or standing in one place for most of the night, so that wasn’t terribly important to her. She waggled her hips to swish the skirt back and forth like a ringing bell.

“Never let it be said we bunny bumpkins can’t rock some fine fancy frippery.” She reached up and tugged at his bowtie. “Ooohh, not a clip on? Really pulled out all the stops, didn’t you, Slick?”

He feigned offense with an exaggerated pout. “I’m _insulted_ you would accuse me of ever wearing something so tacky.”

Judy rolled her eyes with good-natured smirk. “Did the fox of a hundred Pawaiian shirts actually say that with a straight face?”

“Hey, those never go out of style.”

“Only because they were never _in_ style.”

Nick laughed. “Why don’t we save the roasting for the party, Fluff.” He cocked his elbow out in invitation. “Shall we away?”

She beamed at him as she took his proffered arm. “Let’s.”

*****

The trip to the venue wasn’t a difficult one… at least, not until the end. The busy street where the civic center was located saw above average traffic on a normal day. The well-advertised event beginning right around rush hour pushed the above average traffic right into gridlock. It became clear that their taxi had no hope of getting them to the doors by the time the festivities started. They opted to abandon it and simply walk the remainder of the way using one of Nick’s surefire shortcuts down a lesser traveled side street instead.  
  
The main avenue was just one side alley away when it hit Judy between her ears like a snowball. When a lull in their lively and pleasant conversation made the hushed, sniggering voices behind them impossible to ignore. A cold, harrowing dread slithered up her spine, the ancient, primal sensation of being preyed upon. Of being hunted. Her ears shot up and tilted automatically as Nick’s tail bristled and swept instinctively around her waist. The quick glance over her shoulder registered two mammals—hares, from what she could assess in the half second she laid her eyes on them.

“Know them?” Judy asked, and brought her purse in front of her.

“I know everyone, remember?” was Nick’s terse reply.

“And…?”

“We should probably run.”

She snorted and started digging her paw through the bag opening. “So they can bother someone else? Forget that. They want trouble, they found it.”

His ears pinned back as she pulled out her taser. “If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, I really wish you’d stop thinking it.”

“On the count of three.”

“ _Carrots_.”

“Three!”

She spun on the balls of her feet, the taser brandished in her one paw and her bag held slingshot-style by the straps in the other. The two hares that were following behind them halted a few paces away. They were tall and lanky as hares go, one a dark, smoky gray and the other a tawny color like fall leaves. They wore dangerously malicious expressions on their faces, with shirts and armbands dyed in deep, royal reds and purples. Gang colors. Specifically, the colors of the notoriously ruthless Lapin Kings. They eyed Judy up and down.

“Looks like the cute bunny might actually be a little wildcat, Ace,” the gray one said, elbowing his companion in the side with a snicker.

Ace pulled his lips back into a vicious smile. “That’s good, though, Max. I like a bit of fight in ‘em, don’t you?”

“Come a little closer and I’ll show you a fight, scumbag,” Judy snarled.

Nick put his paw on her shoulder and said, “Listen, fellas, there’s two ways this can go down.” He pointed at Judy’s charged, crackling taser. “That’s the hard way. I wouldn’t suggest it. Why don’t we go with the easy way, huh?”

The hares’ expressions darkened, and their paws dropped into their pockets. Nick followed suit, and pulled out his badge.

“Would it make any difference if I said we’re cops?”

Their paws came back in front of them wrapped in brass knuckles and Ace said, “Ohhhh, even better.”

“Guess not.” Nick sighed, his normally relaxed stance shifting to his formal paw-to-paw combat training. “They never choose the easy way.”

Their adversaries sprang forward into a dead sprint, closing the gap between them within seconds. Nick stepped wide to his left, while Judy sidestepped to her right to split the fight between them—the fox against Max and the bunny against Ace.

Judy’s dress was a hindrance and impeded her movement, so every action had a sluggish weight to it. She doubted she would have had the speed needed to run away, either, even if she had chosen that option. She planted her feet and focused on incapacitating her tawny furred opponent.

She dodged the punch Ace threw as he came in front of her and swung her bag up at his face. His both arms came up to shield instinctively… and left his torso wide open.

_Bzzzzzzzt!_

The taser found a clear spot in his side. He stiffened as the shock seized his muscles, and then dropped to the sidewalk like the sack of trash he was. Nick, meanwhile, was still trading blows with Max some few feet away from where they’d initially started. He was dodging effectively for the most part, but his opponent’s aggressive strikes were relentless and there was no clear opening for a definitive hit. The next punch that Nick avoided he took the gray hare’s arm between his paws and hyperextended his elbow in an armlock. Max gave a surprised yelp as Nick started to push him down toward the sidewalk… then sank his teeth into the fox’s leg in desperation.

“Argh!” Nick gave a cry of pain as the hold was lost, and Max came back around with an elbow into his gut.

“Nick!”

Judy leapt toward them immediately to help her partner, but she didn’t get far. An unexpected paw gripped her ears and whipped her head back sharply. Her legs went out from under her and she gave an alarmed squeak from the pain of having her whole body held up by her scalp. A new assailant—a mottled brown jack recently emerged from the alley behind them—tipped the tables away from a fair fight and wrested Nick’s attention away from the fight he was already losing.

“Judy!” He snapped his teeth and heaved himself away from Max’s grasp toward the new enemy manhandling his friend. “Get off of her!”

Situational awareness went right out the window at that point. Ace recovered from his tasing long enough to reach up and grab at Nick’s foot when he went past, tripping him to the sidewalk. He landed hard, dazed, and only had the wherewithal to curl himself up as Ace and Max proceeded to kick and punch him repeatedly.

Judy attempted to kick back into her assailant, but the fabric of the dress wrapped around her legs reduced the power of her strike to nothing. An arm went around her neck as her ears were pulled further back and she sent a pitched scream into the air. A loud sniff and hot breath next to her cheek made her stomach lurch.

“Mmm, do that again,” the hare whispered in her ear with a voice that set her fur on end. “Gets my motor running.”

Judy scratched at the arm around her throat and growled, “Get bent, jackwag— _hrrk_!”

The pressure increased, cutting off her air supply completely. She scrabbled in a panic and pulled at the arm squeezing off her oxygen, but it didn’t budge. Dark spots bubbled over her vision as she clung with all her might to consciousness. Her eyes rolled back and the world started slipping away…

“ _Caaaaaw!_ ”

A shadow dropped down overhead and all at once the vice-like hold around her neck was gone. She sagged to the sidewalk as a scream pierced her ears among the sounds of angry squawks and a light, feathered fluttering.

“GRAAAAH!” The hare backed away, clutching his face. “MY EYES!”

The massive crow that divebombed him came back down for another row, pecking and scratching at his head. He flapped wildly all around him and with each new caw he threw into the air, another crow joined in the attack. One became two became four became a dozen within seconds; as their numbers increased, they spread their assault to the other two hares that had been pummeling Nick. The mammals made the same ineffective motions as their partner as they were pecked and nipped at over and over again.

“Let’s get out of here!” Max shouted at the same time as Ace cried, “Run!” They beat a hasty retreat, and never looked back. The crows that followed after them down the alley didn’t do so for long, and returned to join in the onslaught still underway with the rest of their flock.

Somehow amidst the confusion from the flying feathers, horrific shrieks of agony, and vicious squawking, Judy managed to crawl her way to where Nick was still half sprawled on the sidewalk. He propped himself up on his elbows and watched the chaos that had descended upon their attackers with wide, terror-filled eyes. His paw shot out to wrap around her as he scrambled back from the black storm of birds that surrounded them. They huddled together, shaking with their heads ducked low, waiting for whatever was happening to be over.

Thankfully, they didn’t have to wait long.

_THUD!_

The harsh cacophony of cawing ceased, replaced with a soft, sickening, _squishy_ sound before silence set in once more. Judy lifted her ears first and swiveled them around in all directions, then peeked her head out from the protective little ball that she and Nick had become. Her next breath caught in the back of her already somewhat swollen throat at the sight before her.

The mottled hare was now a mottled lump of ground meat. The pulpy, open wounds that covered his body had turned his fur from brown to red—redder even than his shirt, which was ripped to rags. His face was unrecognizable, ears torn to tatters and both eyes gouged from their sockets. Judy stared into the gaping crimson voids for far too long, and only managed to tear her gaze away at the behest of a now familiar sound.

“ _Caw._ ”

The crows—a veritable army of them, there had to be close to two dozen now—had landed on the sidewalk around the corpse of the gangbanger that they’d pecked to death. A few of the birds standing closer to it continued to pick and tear bits of flesh from the body. The one that had called to her, though—the one with the single white feather on his shoulder and a now red-smeared beak—stood simply with wings folded and eyes unblinking. She recoiled when Chip strutted over, and he stopped. He stayed quite still for a few seconds, then dropped a shiny little pebble in front of her.

“ _Caw_ ,” he said again, and spread his wings out slightly as he bowed his head. He stared at her in a way that could only be described as ‘expectantly.’

“Uhhhh…” Judy reached a shaky paw out and picked the gifted rock up. “Thank you?”

Chip nodded once and cocked his head, then turned away from her.

“ _GRAWK!_ ” The cry that sounded like a command sent the rest of the flock flying up into the air. He gave one last glance over his shoulder and then spread his wings also. Chip lifted off, circled twice over Judy and Nick, soared into the sky, and was gone. The sound of the retreating squawks gave way to the sound of approaching sirens.

“That, uh…” Nick started, his voice thick as mud. “That wasn’t by any chance the same bird you mentioned the other day, was it?”

Judy nodded. “Uh huh.”

“Huh. Well, then.” He gulped hard as he looked at the puddle of blood that was creeping closer and closer. “You know, now I’m kinda glad we don’t have to treat them like mammals.”

“Yeah?” Judy worried the tiny stone between her trembling fingers. “Why’s that?”

He gave her a thin, wan smile. “Imagine having to bring all those crows into the station for being part of a murder.”

Judy was still intermittently smacking Nick in the arm when the paramedics arrived.

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who didn't get the joke... a group of crows is called a 'murder.' XD
> 
> Now, you may be asking yourselves, “Did Pandora actually write out a whole plot bunny just to make a terrible animal pun?” Well, let me assure you that the answer is yes. Yes, I did. XD


End file.
